A Dead Ringer for Armageddon
by JussCallMeBilly
Summary: I shall be telling this with a sigh somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in space, and I— I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.
1. Life is like a Box of Crayons

Title: A Dead Ringer for Armageddon

Author: Monica, aka JussCallMeBilly

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or the yumminess that is Jamie Bamber (drool)

A/N: Okay, so this is my first BSG fanfic but not my first altogether. I have been reading a bunch of stories for months so hopefully I have picked up enough on terms I have to use. So I had written like two chapters for this story probably about a month ago but never decided to do much with it. It is now raining, and I have been cooped up in the house for three days, so I figured why not? I want to say that I know this first part will be VERY CONFUSING to all of you but trust me it'll make sense as the story develops. OH, and one more thing, reviews…please? Kthanksbye.

PROLOUGE

**LIFE IS LIKE A BOX OF CRAYONS**

"Get ready to move," He breathed lightly in her ear. The young woman readjusted her grip on her son's hand and nodded.

"Ready."

oOoOoOo

The landing bay of Galactica was a sea of blue. Black had always been the appropriate color to wear to these kinds of things, but Kara figured Dwarf wouldn't mind. He would be surrounded by black soon enough.

Commander Adama said his final words as the pod was ejected into space. It seemed only fitting that space was black, after all it was where all the dead ended up. Ejected from a metal box and sentenced to an eternity of cold, lonely, darkness. But if death was black, did that mean life was white? Hadn't all those pictures of Gods she'd seen been beings dressed and surrounded by white?

What color were all of they, then; the people who were not yet dead but who were not exactly alive? How would a small child color the survivors of extinction? Gray. That was the color they were made up of. The color of waiting for their time to come, the color of the Galactica, the color of hope.

Kara was shaken from her thoughts by the sudden weight of a hand on her shoulder. She turned around to see Lee standing behind her. The landing bay had almost been completely cleared. Everyone had gone back to their jobs; Dwarf's death nothing more than a distant memory and another notch on their belts.

A petite woman and a small child with fiery hair remained. The woman looked like she was barely holding it together, and the child seemed too young to understand what was happening.

"Who are they?" Kara heard herself asking.

"Dwar- Edward's wife and…" Lee cleared his throat, "and, uh, his kid."

"He had a kid?" Kara asked again, never tearing her eyes from the pair in front of them.

"Yes."

"She's young," commented Kara. The mother scooped up the child and wiped her eyes. It was funny how mothers always seemed to have enough hands to go around.

"Yeah."

"Much too young to lose a father."

Apollo gave her shoulder a sympathetic squeeze. "Yeah."

oOoOoOo

They had been sprinting for a good twenty minutes before they thought it was safe to rest. The dark-haired father had long ago scooped their son up and carried him. He set the boy down and lay a reassuring hand on his wife's head.

"Are you okay?" He panted.

"Peachy," she responded. He pushed her lightly for the sarcasm which caused them both to smile.

"Are we safe?" the tiny boy asked them. The woman nervously opened her arms to pick the boy up.

"You're always safe when you are with us," her husband responded. She threw him a grateful look.

"Always," she echoed. This answer seemed to satisfy the boy because he snuggled into his mother's arms without a care in the world. The three settled in silence for awhile before the woman was sure the small boy was asleep. "It is not safe for him here."

"It has not been safe for him in five years," her husband responded.

"It's different now. Each time they seem to be getting stronger, I'm afraid we will never be able to find-"

"What do you suggest we do?"

"What we should have done five years ago," she answered softly.

"How do we know he will be safe? You've already said it, the cylons are stronger here. They may have already started building."

"If they have, we know where they would be starting it. We can get there and check it out. I have a good feeling about these people. They might be who we have been looking for."

"You have never been one to rely on 'feelings'," he chided her.

"And _you_ have never been one to doubt my instincts," she shot back.

"It is not that," the man sighed. "I just can't imagine leaving him." He waited a few beats and breathed deeply. "If we are going to do this, we have to do this right. A mistake will cost him his life."

The mother nodded, a lone tear running down her cheek.

oOoOoOo

A/N: Paha…so you all probably have no idea what I am talking about now. As it should be. Anyways I am hoping to be posting this with the first chapter so that you are not left totally in the dark. Nothing much to review on yet because it was very short, but the next ones coming up will be three times as long. Kthanksbye.


	2. How Many Cylons Does it Take

Disclaimer: Don't sue!

CHAPTER ONE

**HOW MANY CYLONS DOES IT TAKE TO SCREW IN A LIGHTBULB?**

Kara removed her helmet and blew a strand of hair from her face. Chief was by the side of her viper ready to help her out.

"How'd she fly?" he asked her.

"Perfect," she responded, stepping out as he scribbled something on his clipboard.

"Absolutely no problems?" He questioned warily.

"None that I couldn't handle." Kara flashed him a brilliant smile and left. Lee fell into step next to her.

"A quiet CAP," he commented.

"We have been overdue for one."

"I couldn't agree more." He smiled.

"I'm going to take a shower. I'll save you a seat at dinner?"

"Oh, so that is what they are calling it now?" Lee asked her, wrinkling his nose.

"Well not all of us can afford the secret stashes of chocolate bars." She teased.

"I'm sure there is _some _way you could pay me for them," Lee joked, wagging his eyebrows suggestively.

"Why Captain Adama are you propositioning me?" Kara asked, feigning innocence.

"You bet!"

Kara laughed and walked away. "In your dreams, flyboy!"

"Nightmares!" he corrected. Instead of following her into the showers he changed his mind and turned back around, heading towards the line of vipers. "Need any help, Chief?"

The Chief was already lying under a viper to make repairs. "A twelve hour CAP isn't enough to wear you out, Captain?"

Lee laughed and headed over to his ship. He began going through the systems check, a tedious job that he hoped would help him drain some energy. The lack of cylon attacks had left him filled with a lot of adrenaline.

"How's it going?" Chief questioned, appearing behind him some time later.

Lee jumped at his unanticipated arrival. Chief threw him a rag to wipe his greasy hands. Apollo had long ago abandoned his flight suit which now hung freely by his waist. "Great, just finished." He contemplated whether to had for the showers or straight to the cafeteria.

"_Landing bay stand ready_ _to launch alert fighters_" boomed over the intercom.

Lee shot a questioning look at Chief, who appeared just as confused as he was. Lee dashed to the red phone hanging on the wall and picked it up. "Captain Adama to the CIC. Do we have a confirmed cylon attack?"

"Negative, Apollo," Petty Officer Dualla answered. "We have an as-of-now unidentified cargo ship."

"Do we think it contains a bomb?"

"Possibly. Commander Adama and Lt Colonel Tigh are discussing what we should do," she informed him. Lee then heard her shout, "I'm receiving a radio transmission!"

"_Prepare for an unscheduled landing_"

"The Commander is letting it land?" Lee asked confused and a little outraged. That one ship could contain dozens of cylons.

"Readings show that there is only one life sign aboard," Dee told him. _Great_, Lee thought, _how did that joke go? How many cylons does it take to blow up a ship?_

Just one.

Lee and a group of marines had their guns at the ready while Chief Tyrol and his group prepared space and grabbed fire extinguishers. The cargo ship landed effortlessly right on target. Now if _that_ wasn't suspicious.

The head marine shouted out to the group to surround the ship. A couple dozen marines quickly circled the cargo ship and waited for the door to open.

"Come out with your hands in the air!"

Lee readjusted the gun in his hand and waited. The door groaned as whomever- whatever was inside of it attempted to push it open. After another thirty seconds, the door swung open, and every single mouth in the landing bay dropped open.

A young boy with disheveled brown hair stepped from the cargo bay, panting. He seemed rather short from his age and was dressed in a poorly made tee shirt with shorts. He looked drained after opening the door and frightened to death; the fear only increased when he saw twenty-something guns trained on him. The boy let out a loud whimper and ran back into the ship.

"Uhh," Lee looked around with a puzzled expression. Nobody else seemed to have a clue of what was happening either. Lee recovered first and called to the Chief. "Get Commander Adama down to the landing bay immediately. I think there is something here he's going to want to see."

oOoOoOo

Exactly six and a half minutes later Commander Adama and President Roslin had arrived to the landing bay.

"A child?" Adama asked Lee.

"Yes, Sir."

Laura Roslin clapped her hand over her mouth and whispered an "Oh Gods."

"The cylons are using children now?" sighed Commander Adama.

"Are we sure that this boy is a cylon?" Roslin proposed, the hope not quite hidden in her voice.

"Are we ever?" Lee challenged back. The three carefully approached the vessel and peered inside. The boy was huddled in the corner, hugging his knees. "If you need some proof, that cargo ship just executed a textbook perfect landing. As far as I know not many four year olds can do that."

"I'm five!" The young boy shouted. Laura jumped and Lee and Adama drew their guns at the sudden interruption. The boy cowered again.

"What did you say?" Lee spat at the boy.

"I said," the boy paused. "I said that I am five, not four." Once again Lee threw his father a confused look. The President, on the other hand, seemed amused.

"Has anyone tried talking to him yet?" When no one answered, Roslin entered the cargo ship.

"Madam President-" Both Adamas objected before Roslin silenced them. She ordered a marine to come stand beside her before approaching the boy.

"Hello," she greeted. The boy smiled immediately at her company, and Laura felt herself tense up slightly. He noticed her sudden discomfort and lost his grin. He turned to the marine standing beside her with the gun. "Uhh, sorry about all the guns. We just want to keep everybody safe." The boy didn't seem to understand her but nodded at the word 'safe.'

"Okay."

Laura sat down next to the small boy- but still far enough away that he could not touch her without moving. The marine stood in front of them with his gun trained on the boy's head. Adama and Lee were obviously upset with this tactic. Laura mentally rolled her eyes, sure the Adama men might know military, but she knew children.

"What is your name?" She asked him softly.

"Model Twelve?" Lee threw in sarcastically, unable to help himself. He was quite frankly annoyed that his father had let this cylon land in the first place. The boy looked up at the hostile pair of men and began to cry.

"Commander Adama, Captain Adama, I request you both leave the landing bay immediately."

Lee looked like he was about to object when the Commander answered for them both. "Of course, Madam President, but make sure you get him to the infirmary to have Doctor Baltar check him out." Lee suddenly understood their dismissal; she was trying to fool the cylon. Laura nodded her understanding.

Laura softened her tone as she addressed the still-crying boy. "We have to take you to the infirmary to make sure that you are alright. Is that okay?" The boy nodded as he used his hand to wipe away the tears. The marine almost shot him at this action. Despite everything, Laura could not help but feel sorry for the boy- _cylon_, she reminded herself. The boy was absolutely adorable and his fear seemed so real. "We are going to have to handcuff you, okay? It is for your safety as well as ours."

"Okay," the boy agreed. After a beat he added, "What is _your_ name?"

President Roslin chuckled at his directness. "Laura," she told him, hoping he had not been told to seek her out.

"I like that name," the boy said quietly. This brought a smile to her face. "Am I going to see you again, Miss Laura?"

Roslin nodded as handcuffs were placed on the boy. "I have to talk to some people, but I am sure I'll be seeing you again..." _when we throw you out of the airlock._

oOoOoOo

Gaius Baltar sat quietly in his office, balancing a small canister on his head. His long hair had grown greasy from abandonment. Despite his ever-demanding job of being Vice President of the Twelve Colonies, he often found himself returning to his dark lab for some solitude. He scoffed that he considered this a lab. Back on Caprica... Oh, Gaius do _not_ go there.

Quite pathetically he found himself longing for her presence. He was so used to her showing up to muck into his thoughts that he was always slightly confused at what to do when she was not around. A small ding interrupted him.

Baltar quickly sat up and turned his attention to the machine. A curious smile erupted on his face. So the boy was human after all, now _that_ was interesting.

"A human child," he mused.

_Now, isn't that something, _Number Six purred into Gaius' ear. He closed his eyes at the sound of his voice. He did not need to have them open to realize that she was wearing a tight black dress that hugged her every curve.

"Should have known that you would be popping up anytime now," Gaius muttered, hoping that he sounded annoyed instead of turned on.

_Well if that is how you feel.. _her voice trailed off. Gaius Baltar spun around in his chair so quickly he almost fell off. However, she was gone. Once again vanished into thin air.

"Dammit."

_Miss me already?_Gaius spun back around to see her sitting on his desk. It took all of his strength to raise his eyes from her exposed cleavage to her mouth as she began to explain.

_Now, wouldn't it be fun if these results were incorrect?_

"Wh-what?"

_Things are being set into motion, Gaius. God has plans for this child._

"What sort of plans?"

_None that you need to worry about right now. The important thing is that you tell the President this boy is a cylon._

"But they'd kill him- if I said- no, I-" Gaius' objection were silenced by Six's finger to his lips.

_God's plans are never questioned _she sternly told him as she began to unbutton his shirt. Baltar bit back a moan as she straddled herself against him and held out the phone.

"H-hello, Commander Adama. Yes, uhh, the results are in," Baltar glanced up at Six who was now working on unbuttoning his pants. Gaius took a deep breath. "It is definitely a cylon."


End file.
